Decisions, Decisions

So I finally came to peace with myself and where I believe God is leading me to help. I will be sending $100 to Pastor Lucas this week to help with the famine alleviation.

Though sad to say, I am grateful that I am not aware of every need in this world. I would drive myself mad knowing the truth about the pain and suffering that goes on. How does God do it, being all knowing and all powerful..yet allowing free will? I would not be strong enough to allow my children to starve and suffer, knowing full well that I have blessed my other children with the money and means to alleviate their suffering- yet they keep it all for themselves.

I am that child with the better life, with more money, more blessings, too many belongings. And here I sit tonight having pity for myself, because of a migraine and stomach ache caused most likely from the stress of chasing the American dream, and eating too many foods that are not the best for my body. I need to become balanced in all that I do.

Though this is my heart, I want to focus more on the positive that I will be doing now that I have had a fire lit under me. I know I cannot do it all, but I refuse not to do what I can to make this world a better place. Now the trick will be to balance that so that my family does not resent me, and so that I do not punish myself for enjoying the life God has so graciously given to me.

Jenn

The Good The Bad and The Ugly...

The Good News
God continues to lead this ministry and project in ways that I could not have ever imagined. I did some research on SESOK, and found that they have basically the same mission as I do! SESOK is a part of a larger group called The Global Outreach, which is a non profit that believes in sending 100% of funds raised to the place it was raised for. They have started a project recently for the orphans of Mumias, too! I am making contact with them to find out how this program works and how much money it has generated so far. I am so excited to have a potential ally to help meet the needs of the orphans who I feel like are a part of my family.

The Bad News
Kenya is experiencing Famine due to flooding. Pastor Lucas told me today that the crops that were planted have been washed away and that food is running out. Homes are also being flooded. Pastor Lucas has been providing food aid to surrounding communities, but the food ran out last week.

The Ugly News
If they do not receive help soon, many will die. People have already gone a week without food.

So now I struggle with this heaviness on my heart. How can I help them now? How can I send money that way? How can I raise funds for the urgent need as well as funds for me to actually go on the mission trip and to start the Art for Africa program? The needs are so great and I feel like my hands are tied and that I am just treading water waiting alongside them for rescue. I am in conflict internally..I am the rescuer..but I don't know how to swim and I have no life preserver to throw to them.

Paul and I had received some money from my great aunt this week, that we planned to use to enrich our marriage by using it for dates. This is an area that we really truly need in order to improve and maintain our relationship. I feel so guilty thinking that I really want to keep this gift so that we can go on dates..and at the same time I get scared thinking that if I don't use this blessing for dates with my husband that I am not placing value on my marriage (which has been an ongoing theme by me that I want to change). Then on the other hand I think about how this money (though it is not a huge amount) could be a blessing to the people of Kenya.

As I struggle with this in my mind, heart and soul I come to wonder how much this amount could do? Could it save a life? Could me hoarding it allow another to die of starvation? How can I live with myself knowing that?

OK, this blog post is definately not inspiring today!!! I am so sorry for that. I just need to work this out and writing it helps to make it real. I will let you know what I decide to do.
Jenn

Blessings from above

I sat with tears running down my cheeks and a feeling of warm gratitude that touched my soul as I read an email from Pastor Lucas yesterday.

I had been working on Art for Africa for a couple of hours and thought that maybe I should move to another area..work or housekeeping. It was my only day "off" this month, where I could catch up without kids or obligations. Surely I should not spend it all on my Africa project.

I have been a little scared, seeing how great the need is, and how small I am. I am not rich. I am not even financially stable. I can barely support my own family, and my tithing has been less than adequate as I have struggled to pay bills and keep gas in the car. I do not have many friends who have offered to help financially with the needs..what makes me think I can successfully run an ongoing program to support 26 orphans half a world away? Doubt and fear overwhelms at times, yet there is always that glowing "knowledge" inside me that says do not fear. With HIM all things are possible for those who believe. If I follow His will, not mine, He will run this project.

Suddenly, I saw that I had a new message..it was Pastor Lucas. He had only written to me twice before, both initiated by my questions. I did not expect to hear from him again for months. Besides, it was 10 am our time..what time was it there?

As I read his words of affirmation and encouragement the fear melted and my heart swelled.

I do not think that Pastor Lucas would be upset that I share his email with you all. It was so timely, so encouraging, so much a message not only from him, but from God just when I needed it most.

Dear Beloved Sister In Christ Jenn,

This week My wife Jane has been leading 15 women in our church fasting and praying for you that God will bless your efforts and plans you have about helping us with funds to help orphans in our community.

They have been in prayer for the whole week until this Saturday.These group of women are so much excited for meeting you face to face and work together with you to make better lives of this young ones who are in suffering .

Expect a big breakthrough for i know as they pray God will release his blessings and victory.He will touch many people from all four corners of this worls to support us through you.

May God use you very powerful as his vessel in lifting up the standard of our community
and our churches. If you get some one with a call of helping to buld churches into permanent direct him to us.For we are praying that our churches shall have buildings that are permanent.

You are in our prayers , dear Jenn.

May God bless you

pastor Lucas obanda"


Speechless..I sat with tears of joy and thanksgiving. Then I spent the rest of my day "off" completing the web site and asking for sponsors to consider supporting this project.

I know that I know that I know that God has laid this ministry before me, and that He is in control and that His will will be done. Praise you Jesus.

Africa Connections Everywhere!

As I go about my days, I am amazed by the connections I am coming across for others who are interested in Africa. Today I told my story to a client who told me about selling his home to people from South Africa last year and a neighbor who just returned from a month long trip to Africa.

Yesterday I received a phone call from a member of our team who met a metalsmith who is also an artist and teaches at the local University (Art no less!)..who said she would like to go to Africa with us. How perfect for the Art for Africa project!

Just last week I went on an organizing consult to a new clients home...and guess what her theme of her home was? AFRICA! I have not mentioned the mission trip, yet but I am looking forward to hearing about her interest or connection with this amazing country.

Last week I also talked with another client of mine about Art for Africa and she told me that she was on a mission trip to Africa 5 years ago, and wants to support the orphans and Art for Africa in anyway she can.

God is placing the right people in line with my life at exactly the right time. I love this experience of watching HIM work in my life and for the lives of those who have been praying for help.

I have a wonderful feeling that this is only the beginning of the great things to come.

Wrestling with the Needs

I sit here tonight trying to figure out how to raise $1500 in addition to the $3500 that it will cost for me to go to Mumias this October for our mission trip and to get things rolling for Art for Africa. I know that with God all things are possible, yet I feel so small and the need is so ENORMOUS.

I understand that Africa is experiencing famine as I write this. I am ignorant. I really don't know what this means, but it cannot be good in any way, shape or form. Tonight I dined on a taco salad, followed by my dessert of choice-chocolate chips straight from the bag. I wonder what the dear children who I am starting this program for ate today? How is this famine affecting them?

Pastor Lucas has told me that they would like to be self sufficient and to feed the orphans and others in their community through purchasing a piece of land to grow their own food on. He would like to buy some livestock, including a cow so they can sell milk and chickens so they can sell eggs. Such simple things, yet they seem so hard to obtain. There must be some way to raise $1500 so that the land can be purchased and the livestock can be brought in for them.

My heart is heavy for their needs, yet I know that I have been called not to wish but to do something about these needs. So, my prayer tonight is for guidance and wisdom to know what to do. I don't expect the money to fall from the sky, but I do believe that the idea for raising the money will come from our heavenly father. Please say a prayer for me as I wrestle with myself and with the needs of these precious people.
Jenn

I received a wonderful email from Pastor Lucas of Mumias yesterday. I just wanted to share with you some of the pictures that he sent to me of the orphans that we will be helping through Art for Africa. I cried when I got to see their faces, and felt like I got to see a piece of my family for the first time.

I am truly blessed to be given an opportunity to help these children.

Jenn

Have you ever had one of those days that feel just "off"? I am having one of those OFF days today. I am completely exhausted and wondering how I will make it through the rest of the day without collapsing. I do however see God working in all that I am doing and I want to share some of the Kenya updates with you and also give you a glimpse into the blessings I have had this week.

JENN'S LIST OF BLESSINGS

1. I had $20 donated toward Art for Africa yesterday after telling a client about the mission and trip. It was so encouraging to see her give so willingly without me even asking. She also pre-ordered 2 necklaces after seeing one on me. I was on cloud 9!
2. A local coffee shop has asked if they could put out a jar for donations for our trip! What a great opportunity to educate the community on the issues the people of Mumias are facing daily!
3. We are nearly set for running our funding through a local non-profit, this way we will be able to give charitable contribution receipts to those who donate!
4. My Great Aunt called me to tell me that she felt lead to send our family a check!-ok this one may not be related to Kenya, however this check will enable my husband and I to have dates and keep our relationship thriving! Something we really need.
5. We had 2 calls for cleaning today that I was able to give to my newest cleaner (who is also in need of work to support her family). It feels so good to be a blessing and pass on the blessings to others!
6. The Art for Africa website is up and running! It needs some tweaking, but check it out! You can donate, become a sponsor, or even purchase a necklace online now!
7. OH and this one is BIG! I am able to eat chocolate again! I had given up carbs for a week to test how my chronic fatigue and pain might be connected with sugar and carbs...and now I am re-introducing carbs starting with Chocolate! Oh it makes me sooooo happy!

I think I better go have some chocolate now! And work some other things before my family time begins tonight.
Jenn

My Journey Begins

You are invited to follow me on this incredible journey. A journey that can only be explained as unexpected and incredible. I am going to Africa. Not only am I going there, I am suddenly faced with the realization that my entire life is about to change. I feel the call to create a program that incorporates art, jewelry, and fundraising to support the orphans of a small village near Mumias Kenya. I have not yet met these children, but I have seen their pictures and God has heard their cries. Join me as I am lead on this journey of a lifetime, a journey that will change my life, the life of my family, and quite possibly your life as well.