Decisions, Decisions

So I finally came to peace with myself and where I believe God is leading me to help. I will be sending $100 to Pastor Lucas this week to help with the famine alleviation.

Though sad to say, I am grateful that I am not aware of every need in this world. I would drive myself mad knowing the truth about the pain and suffering that goes on. How does God do it, being all knowing and all powerful..yet allowing free will? I would not be strong enough to allow my children to starve and suffer, knowing full well that I have blessed my other children with the money and means to alleviate their suffering- yet they keep it all for themselves.

I am that child with the better life, with more money, more blessings, too many belongings. And here I sit tonight having pity for myself, because of a migraine and stomach ache caused most likely from the stress of chasing the American dream, and eating too many foods that are not the best for my body. I need to become balanced in all that I do.

Though this is my heart, I want to focus more on the positive that I will be doing now that I have had a fire lit under me. I know I cannot do it all, but I refuse not to do what I can to make this world a better place. Now the trick will be to balance that so that my family does not resent me, and so that I do not punish myself for enjoying the life God has so graciously given to me.

Jenn